Speechless

I have been avoiding my blog lately...I'll admit it. It is because of the sheer fact that I don't know what to say. A lot has happened but some of it I feel is just for my small family or my family and friends not for the entire world to know.

My daughters are 6 months old now...I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea of being a mom...The fact that 6 months ago I gave birth to 2 beautiful baby girls. I'm a mom...and a wife now. It's a bit scary sometimes to think...well maybe scary is the wrong word. Mind boggling maybe is the right word? I don't know, I'll use it just for the fact that I can't think of anything else and lack of any other word at the moment. After all it is 5'o clock in the morning...Anyway! As I was saying, that I'm a wife to the love of my life. Oh, there are days that I question my sanity but I'm sure his parents did the same and still do. He's a wonderful man, a wonderful father. Such a big heart and he always has me thinking...whether it's with my heart or my head. To think I will never date again..when I'm only 21 I feel fortunate to find my partner so young but another part says I feel like I got cheated on some of my life...Is that bad? Is that wrong? Is it wrong to think that I got cheated out of some of my life? Will I miss out on something? If I do miss out on something is it more important than my life with my husband and kids? I can answer that one. Not a chance. I can miss movie premiers, fancy dinners, staying out all hours of the night. I mean I'm up now but I'm close to my sleeping husband and slumbering kids and I feel safe, happy...blessed.

I guess a point of this blog this specific blog I mean is to let you know that I'm not dead. I still live. Going from day to day trying to figure out how we can improve our lives and show our girls what its like to be respectable people and compassionate people at the same time.

On another note, I feel like I'm missing something. I know I want to read or write. I want to start on a story and really be an author. I would like some inspiration if anyone is willing to give me some. Or, a good book to read.