Dear Dad,
It's been almost 9 years since I last got a hug...I miss you so much. Who would have thought that so much would change in such little time? Are you proud of me? Are you proud of the woman I have become? Are you proud to look upon me and say I am your daughter? Have I made the right choices not just for me, but for my family too? You have to know that I am trying my hardest. I want my children (present and future) to know the values that you and Mom taught me. Will I be able to teach them whats really important in life?
I know I promised that I would always write...but its so hard. It's hard to look at a blank piece of paper and not think of you, not hear your voice in my head. Sometimes...its too much to bear. Other times I just can't find any words to say. I don't feel like I have anything to say, even in my journal.
I have been meaning to go see you...and your mom for that matter... However for as lame as it sounds, something always seems to come up. One of those things being no gas. I feel like a crappy granddaughter that its been 4-5 months since I have seen her. A crappy daughter for not seeing you for so much longer. I guess its harder then I thought to be a mom without her Daddy...Do you know how much this sucks? to watch other girls hang out or talk about their dads? I'm jealous...I guess its mainly because I had such an amazing dad and my kids wont know you..hell, even my husband wont...to me that is unfair. Sure kids lose parents everyday, but why did I have to lose you? What lesson did I have to learn? What higher calling is there then being a parent? I miss you and love you
Love,
Melani
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